Growing Pains

Growing Painsby Dayle King Searle

Dear Lord, please forgive

my foolish, selfish tears.

Please understand

and wipe away my fears.

I know that this will help me grow

and reach a higher plane,

But growing isn’t easy,

and I’m having growing pains.

(found on lds.org from the August 1980 New Era)

Last night I gave into a moment of weakness and let myself have a pity party. I tried to end each negative sentence with, "But its ok. It will all be ok. It's not that bad."  And while I meant those words, what I really felt was, "This is hard. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I don't know if I want to keep doing this. Its too difficult. I'm tired."

After a few tears and some deep breaths I realized that I just needed to go to bed and everything would seem much better in the morning. Things did seem much better this morning. But they aren't fixed. They aren't supposed to be fixed.

Today my thoughts are about growing pains. We were sent to the Earth to grow into the beings that Heavenly Father wants us to become. We are here to realize our potential to become just like He is. He is perfect and all-knowing and wonderful and kind. That requires an awful lot of growing. It is only natural that with that much growth there will be some element of pain involved. I knew that when I accepted the calling to teach Seminary that my days would be long and busy and that at times I would undoubtedly feel tired, worn-out and discouraged, but I accepted the call because I knew such challenges would force me to rely on the Lord.

Today I read these two quotes from the talk "Followers of Christ" by Elder Walter F. Gonzalez in the April 2011 General Conference. Following the quotes are my personal thoughts.

"As Christ followed the Father under any circumstance, we should follow His Son. If we do so, it matters not what kind of persecution, suffering, grief, or 'thorn in the flesh' we face. We are not alone. Christ will assist us. His tender mercies will make us mighty under any circumstances."

Right now, the most comforting promise is that we are not alone. Since a lot of my current frustrations center around dissatisfaction at work, my jam-packed schedule, and being without my best friend, there isn't really anything that others can do to help me fix my problems. When I want to vent or need a hug, I should not try to dump my burdents on another but should go to my Savior. I know that He will help me not to feel alone. I also love that as I try to become a better teacher and leader that he can make me mighty under any circumstances, no matter how weak I am.

"Truly loving Christ provides the required strength to follow Him."
 
I am trying to help the Seminary students find principles and patterns in their scriptures. I see a pattern here:
If I find it difficult to follow Christ (whether that means obeying His commandments or just trusting in Him daily) I should work on loving Him more. If I need help loving Him more, I must get to know Him better. To get to know Him better I have to study the scriptures, pray, and experience some of the pain that He endured. "Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes" (Elder Kent F. Richards, "The Atonement Covers All Pain," May 2011 Conference). In essence, by going through this challenging time of life, I am coming to know my Savior, love Him more, and thus recieve strength to follow Him more faithfully.
 
I just want whoever reads this to know that I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know that this is an exciting time to be on the earth and that the gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth today with the same doctrines, covenants, and ordinances that have existed since the world was created. I know that somehow in the midst of His myriad of creations, the Lord knows me and He cares about who I become. I love my life, my husband, my family, and I am truly happy about the opportunities the Lord has given me so far in my life. I look forward to the joy that will come with further growth and know that the pains required will be minimal compared to the blessings I will receive in return.